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Things That Happen 14: Irish Trip 2022

 


On August 14th 2019, my beloved and I travelled to Ireland for a week-long trip. As we like it, a no-fuss trip and time out with Irish family and friends. Like the rest of the world, we had no clue what was coming beyond a simple holiday, likely followed by another similar trip by Spring/Easter 2020.

 

When I hugged my dad in James’ Hospital that last visit, kissed his forehead, touched his skin, felt his warm hands, and him in the throes of increasingly advanced Parkinson’s; I had no idea of what was next. Mam was up the walls with doctors and nurses and careworkers and trying to get dad a place in a permanent nursing home.

 

When I hugged mam a week later in the hallway of our family home on the morning of August 21st, after we packed suitcases into our rental car in the driveway and drove away to the airport, I’d also no clue that would be the last hug for three years.

 

We were planning a Dutch Christmas at our home in the Netherlands, and by February we were already looking forward to our next Ireland trip.

 

Mam had found a place for dad in a nursing home on the North side of Dublin shortly after Christmas and he moved there by January 2020. He was settling in well.

 

Things that happen.

 

Erica and I had a bad Christmas. We were both inexplicably unwell for many weeks, one after the other. We were back on our feet by February 2020 and raring to go.

 

Things that happen. The world had other ideas.

 

There was the postponed trip to Ireland in April/May. Then, there was the working from home, the sourdoughs, the gardening, endless hours on social media and watching the news. One month slipped away into another. An endless cycle of just being fed up. Being fed up is also tiring in its own curious way. I tried to plug away with interviews and writing, but soon learned that everyone else was also fed up. We had all the time to do all the things we ever wanted, but were too fed up. I slept more. There was nothing to ‘get up’ for.

 

Things that happen. Everyone seemed available, time on their hands, lots of new stuff to be done, but no one was interested in doing it. What seemed to be happening was that everyone was getting into ‘new stuff’ but not doing the stuff they always moaned they never had time to do!

 

2020 rolled on. We did the Zoom and Whatsapp. We learned. We had to. Life is a roller. It moves even when you feel you are standing still.

 

Things that happen.

 

It did. Life sometimes has a way of slapping you awake. Dad was in good form that Christmas 2020. Two weeks later, he was gone. I’ve played out the last time I was with him. It’s like a movie in my head. But I can never change the ending. Much like watching my dad’s funeral from the Netherlands on a screen is surreal because we couldn’t travel.

 

You want to make the ending different. You play every other ending in your head possible; you dream and still it haunts you. But you can never do that. It is what it is.

 

Things that happen.

 

So, here we are, 2022. We got there. Big hugs ahead on this trip. Never underestimate every moment in life that lies before you. It might not be there tomorrow, next week or next year. Life is both an occasion and celebration.   

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